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In February of 2013, Jo and her husband, Carl, embarked on a 50th-anniversary, twenty-one-day cruise to Australia. Two weeks in, Carl left the blackjack table, cashed out his winnings for the waiter and stateroom staff, and they said goodnight.
The next morning, Jo was awakened by a call from the exercise room. Carl didn’t get up to answer. When Jo turned toward him, she saw what she couldn’t believe and knew in her heart what she didn’t want to be true.
Follow Jo as she navigates the ups and downs of living her life after this devastating loss. Her extraordinary determination and resilience guide her through the most difficult times as she turns each corner in her quest to conquer her grief.
Jo Calcagni is an experienced educator who has been in the field of education both as a foreign language teacher and administrator for more than 40 years. As Director of Guidance both in New York State and Connecticut she helped develop programs and strategies that benefitted the high school population.
Jo lives in Westport, Connecticut, and became a member of the Westport Woman’s Club where she volunteers. She was elected to join the board as Director of Communication for two years, where she sharpened her skills in writing. She also loves biking, boating, tennis and yoga.
She holds a B.S. in education and M.S. in counseling from St. John’s University, a PD in Educational Administration from Long Island University, and a Certificate in Management from
Adelphi University’s Graduate School of Business Administration.
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NOT YET NOT NOW
by Jo Calcagni ‧ RELEASE DATE: Sept. 4, 2024
A powerful account of surviving a profound loss.
Amemoir offering reflections on love, loss, and life after the death of a spouse.
“Carl, not yet, not now. Don’t go,” Calcagni recalls saying to her husband after finding him lifeless in bed. Well aware of her 71-year-old husband’s myriad health issues, from heart disease to diabetes, the author recalls in painstaking detail her memories of that fateful morning in the book’s opening chapter, as she said to herself, “This isn’t happening; it’s not real,” hoping to wake up from a nightmare. Compounding the tragic loss was that her husband died while aboard a cruise ship from San Francisco to Australia, a trip they had long anticipated “but had always been too busy” to book. The memoir is divided into six parts, with the first 11 chapters, written as grief-fueled vignettes, surveying the days following Carl’s death, from the tedious details of funeral arrangements to the author’s apathy toward condolences from well-wishers who asked how she was doing. “This isn’t about me,” she thought to herself, “it’s about losing Carl.” The volume’s middle chapters alternate between recollections of her time with Carl and her new life following his death. Born to Italian immigrants, Calcagni grew up in a bilingual household and visited Italy in college. As fate would have it, the author and Carl first connected after a serendipitous meeting where they talked for hours about their trips to Italy. Honest in her reflections on married life, Calcagni highlights the “Trials of Marriage,” particularly given her husband’s work schedule that took him away from home. Juxtaposed with her memories of childhood and her days with Carl are tales of her journey after his death, as the author learned to cook for one and struggled to locate passwords to accounts once managed by her husband. The potent book’s concluding chapters offer insights to grieving readers on how to find meaning and renewal after a catastrophic loss. A career educator who honed her writing skills as an administrator for the Westport, Connecticut Woman’s Club after Carl’s death, Calcagni delivers a candid assessment of grief that skillfully blends sentimentality with raw emotion.
A powerful account of surviving a profound loss.
Reader Testimonials
“A memoir offering reflections on love, loss, and life after the death of a spouse.”